Hey isn't That the Guy From The Dead Men's Trilbys?

It was a cool summer night
the kind that i can easily bear
and i was on my way down to the bar
to meet you there
and as i was passing by the off-license
I heard it drifting by on the breeze
"Hey isn't that the guy from the Dead Men's Trilbys?"

I said "We're two fo a kind
we're two of a kind
we're two of a kind
baby what I say"

In the middle of winter
I was out in the frost
and I was walking around the town
completely lost
and as my nose went blue
and my face began to freeze
I heard "Hey isn't that the guy from the Dead Men's Trilbys?"

I said "Shiela, I wanna feel ya
I wanna cheese ya
I'm gonna freeze ya"

One time i was out on the hill
in somewhere that i did not elect
but the drinks in the union are cheap
and i did not expect
this girl to come right up to me
and say "Hey you, excuse me please
but aren't you the guy from the Dead Men's Trilbys?"

I said "I like the way you walk
and I like the way you talk
and I really love the way you smile"

This guy picked a fight with me
because he said i was looking at him funny
and I said "Well hold up there and just
wait a minute buddy"
He said "We should settle this
or do you take me for a fool?"
and i said "I may be weak and I may be small
but i will beat you at online pool"
and as he hit me in the stomach
and i fell down to my knees
he said "I hate you and I hate the Dead Men's Trilbys"

I said "Misery, stop tormenting me
Can't you see you're doing me no good?
Misery, stop tormenting me
You're tearing holes where dreams once stood"

I forsee a day when we are older
and the children of today
are the teenagers of tomorrow
and i will hear them when they say
as they stand in independent record shop
and look at Ben's CDs and Dave's CDs and Joe's CDs
"Hey I recognise that guy from back in the noughties
Hey isn't that the guy from the Dead Men's Trilbys?"

And doctors will say, as they diagnose disease,
"I don't know how to tell you this sir, but you have Dead Men's Trilbys"

(Well you had it coming, man I told you straight
You had it coming, I told you yesterday
There's things that you do and things that you don't
but temptation, she led you astray
So you had it coming and I told you yesterday
Yeah I told you yesterday)

Baby, You're a Rich Man

Oh well now it's perfect in the sunshine
and driving in a car
and when you want to talk
you do it with a guitar
and when day turns into night
and the sun becomes the stars
we can all go dancing
in a lesbian bar

Baby you're a Richman
and maybe I'm a fool
but you're way is free and easy
and that I think is cool

You see I took a while to find you
but find you I have done
and from that moment onwards
a chapter had begun
and now I can't remember
a time without your dum-di-de-dum-di-dum
and now the man who loves you
you have helped me to become

Oh baby you're a Richman
and maybe I'm a fool
but his music is the water
and we're swimming in the pool

Well I have heard another
yes I've noticed it again
well I guess it's where I'm looking
but it happens now and then
I can hear you in the music
in the songs of other men
and I know that it will happen
yes it will happen again

Say, I can feel your influence
in everything I love
like the filling in the sandwich
like the hand inside the glove
and we are just your followers
your loving faithful borrowers
the group of good disciples
to your lord up above

Jesus Saves t

What does it mean, this note I see
on local walls in crude graffiti
that boldly claims "Jesus saves t"?
Where "t" is what, exactly? time?

And if he saves it where does he keep it?
And will we ever get to drink some?
Or maybe it's 'saves' like from extinction
or from a violent type of crime

Well i never saw him as a superhero
but i guess he kind of was, you know
He had like supernatural powers though
he mostly used them for free wine

And even that's not gospel truth
Well ok, bad choice of words, i concede
but it isn't what the jews believe:
that jesus was quite so divine

Maybe it's an ad campaign to combat falling numbers
or a friend count war on islam or on buddhism or atheism
or maybe it's just a pouring out of passionate belief
but either way it seems the church has turned to petty vandalism

So "Jesus saves t"
I'm like "What is that supposed to mean?"
And "t" is what, exactly? tea?
Like tea the meal or tea the leaf?
Like a green tea or an english breakfast?
It's something that i often crave
but tea is hardly like gold dust
it's a weird thing to save

Maybe it's an ad campaign to combat falling numbers
or an act of purest christian holy jesus-loving lyricism
put forth in that one moment of faith-induced delerium
but either way it seems the church has turned to petty vandalism

"Jesus saves t" but i don't know
exactly what that's meant to mean
Where "t" is what exactly
in these notes that i have seen?

Were they distracted, this one christian
vandalist, before they finished
with only time to write these two words
followed by a crucifix-
shaped lower case initial letter?
That makes more sense, yeah that's better
It's a cross, oh now i get it

Tetley in the Morning

I'm a big drinker
Have been since school
It's the same every day
This is the rule

I drink Tetley in the morning
Tetley in the morning
Tetley in the morning
a cup of earl grey at night

I'm clean living
Clean cut
But nothing can stop me
Hitting the cup

I drink Tetley in the morning
Tetley in the morning
Tetley in the morning
a cup of earl grey at night

I quit weed and junk
gave up the chase of the rabbit
I don't need to get drunk
But still i have this habit

I drink Tetley in the morning
Tetley in the morning
Tetley in the morning
a cup of earl grey at night

Forever Blue

I'm so lonely, I'm so dumb
I'm a little piece of scum
I was wrong to play around with you

Now I know it was a mistake
I just can't get a lucky break
Karma's such a bitch, I never knew

Now when I am home
I long to spend my time alone with you again
but it would be no different
I would try to use you like I did back then

Now you're together with a boy
I used to know and full of joy
Oh, I got mine
I'll be forever blue

He Believes in Science

He takes the view, as many do,
that we all choose a path
Fatalism, he would say,
is a load of arse

And destiny, he would agree,
is false hope helping none
Humanism, once a day,
is good for everyone

So thought, and time, consideration,
logic, patience, calculation
Over and above all else
he believes in science

And mostly clever men have never
denied divine descent
Atheism, in a way,
is just irrelevant

Everything from slug to king,
is only real with proof
Naturalism does convey
the one and only truth

So time-invested, tried and tested
ways will give the explanation
Over and above all else
he believes in science

Joe Escott

If you live or come from here
you'll have heard of, maybe know
local legend
my friend Joe

Joe is quite famous in this little city
and if you don't know him i'm sure you will soon
his voice is like chocolate, his girlfriends are pretty
and if you just ask him he'll give you a tune

With Benny Rich he plays songs from the sixties
and he runs a night where others can play
and that's where i started, where he was the big cheese
with songs from the 80s, back in the day

He had a band without any women
a room full of instruments, a couple of fans
They were quite good, I was in the band with him
Never recorded outside of a jam

Don't underestimate the rather dramatic
knack Joe has developed for pleasing a crowd
TV show theme tunes worked into a classic
He gets them dancing and singing aloud

I have a friend, his name is Joe Escott
It's partly his fault that I to do what I do
and if I should ever achieve some success
what I'll never forget is where credit is due

On the Greenbank

From Station Road so early
We moved to 26
Where was born my sister curly
and I loved that mortar and bricks

When she was grown and the last to leave
then back to Station Road
and I was lucky I believe
of always fixed abode

On the Greenbank I sit contented
and I do not want to roam
and you will often catch me smiling happy
on the Greenbank
I have found my home

From North Road West at Christmas
she left for Marlow town
From Bedford Park to London
it did not get me down

From London back to Mutley
I liked it well enough
Yes I've been around aplenty
All these places I have loved

Now when I look out of my window
I can see out on the Sound
and I can see those new tall buildings
A home here I have found

And I'm coming now productive
and I'm learning all the time
and I love my lover deeply
and now this place is mine

West Coast Hip Hop is Not for Me

An unspeakable incident left me glum
in 2001
at Reading Festival

Sunday night, right at the end
Hefner played the Carling tent
at 20 decibels

The tent was brimming
I couldn't get in it
and I was too young to realise
The impact
the music would have
on my later life

I strained to hear
it wouldn't reach my ears
drowned out by the main stage
I really wasn't all that in to Slim Shady
although at the time I had the Marshall Mathers LP
now it was an unwelcome tirade

It drilled right down to the core of me
when I missed the one about fat Kelly's teeth
and Marilyn Manson, the son of a bitch
over his noise I couldn't hear 'The Sad Witch'
I wanted to hear 'I Took Her Love for Granted'
Not some genre that I hadn't grasped yet
West coast hip hip is not my scene
West coast hip hop is not for me

Looking back I wish that I had been cooler
the year that Darren got Beulah
The only chance I ever had to see them
Swamped out of Reading and popular culture
the year of the vulture
the D12 era

It was a miserable night
a weekend lowlight
I wanted to make the end good
but my bad mood was shameless
I know what his name is
and everyone else does too

Everyone around could tell that I was annoyed
that I missed the one about Helen of Troy
I couldn't hear 'The Science Fiction'
'Christian Girls' or 'Hello Kitten'
I wanted to hear 'I Took Her Love for Granted'
Not some genre that I hadn't grasped yet
West coast hip hip is not my scene
West coast hip hop is not for me

I wanted to hear 'Love Will Destroy Us in the End'
I didn't want to listen to Eminem
West coast hip hip is not my scene
West coast hip hop is not for me